Dm                 G
  How're you gonna show up late
C                       F
  With a coffee in your hand?
Dm                         G
  How're you gonna have me sit and wait
C                   F
  While you hit the coffee stand?
Dm                 G
  How're you gonna waltz in here?
C                 F
  Iced coffee in hand
Dm                  G
  Big smile on your big dumb face
C                         F
  Zero mention that you're fifteen late


[Verse 1]
Dm                G
  How're you gonna show up late
C                           F
  But have a coffee in your hand?
Dm                    G
  I'm racking my brain but I don't
      C     F
 understand
Dm              G
  You you you you, you were fifteen
         C
 minutes late
     F                         Dm
With wet hair and coffee and a scone
G                      C
  Seems like you could've skipped one or
    F
 two
                           Dm
And I wouldn't have been alone
G               C
Waiting for you, all alone at that
F                      Dm
 Said time that we set
               G            C
I was here at one on the dot
F
  You were not
Dm                              G
  You lied and said that it was hard
                    C   F
 to find a parking spot


[Chorus]
Dm                 G
  How're you gonna show up late
C                       F
  With a coffee in your hand?
Dm                         G
  How're you gonna have me sit and wait
C                   F
  While you hit the coffee stand?
Dm                 G
  How're you gonna waltz in here?
C                  F
  Iced coffee in hand
Dm                  G
  Big smile on your big dumb face
C                          F
  Zero mention that you're fifteen late


[Verse 2]
Dm                    G
  I bet you think the song is about you
C                  F
  But it's about me
Dm                   G
  I'm frequently late and walk in with
      C
 coffee
F                      Dm
  I fucking hate myself for that
G                 C
  But it's who I am
F                 Dm
  Maybe I'll do TM like everyone else
    G
 in A 
                C                F
And pay for a mantra "Don't be late"
                    Dm
"Don't bring a coffee and don't be
   G
 late"
                 C                F
That's my TM mantra, maybe someday
               Dm              G
Feels weird to pay for a mantra, but
         C   F
 that's A 
Dm               G
  Seems like meditation should be free
C          F
  Maybe that's just me
Dm                    G
  That thinks it's a con to make you
             C     F
 pay for a mantra